Website content extracted from: The Most Problematic Issue with Bipolar Disorder: Normalcy | bpHope.com
The most perplexing and problematic aspect of bipolar—in my opinion—is its intermittent invisibility. From the outside, we often seem so “normal,” nobody realizes we’re sick.
Misunderstanding the Bipolar Spectrum, Cycles, and Core Problem
The official definition for bipolar disorder—a psychiatric illness characterized by both manic and depressive episodes—is, in my opinion, misleading. The general public understands the two main symptoms stated in the definition but is mostly unaware that bipolar exists on a spectrum. Simply stated, an individual with bipolar disorder isn’t just either depressed or manic but experiences all the moods in between the two extremes.
In addition to having the normal emotional range that every human has, we also have all the moods created by cycling back and forth. In all honesty, I have no idea what to call the five-minute period in which I go from incredibly happy to unreasonably irritated to melancholic, and then end up crying.
However, even that emotional mess isn’t the most problematic issue in living with bipolar disorder. The single biggest issue that I see is when everything is just fine. In other words, the biggest issue is being entirely symptom-free.
The Problem of Seeming “Normal” with Bipolar
First, “normal” is an annoying concept. For example, in America, it’s normal, acceptable, even encouraged to bring dying trees into our homes every December. For the purpose of this article, we have to consider that, whether or not we embrace the concept of “normal,” society has behaviors that it collectively views as normal and abnormal.
When a person with bipolar disorder is manic, society recognizes this behavior as extreme. The same holds true with suicida1 depression. Even the lesser-known symptoms of irritability and grandiosity are widely recognized by the general public as abnormal.
As a person living with bipolar moods that travel back and forth along the spectrum, I can say there is a distinct period of time when I am “normal.” I’m in control of my emotions, symptom-free, and able to fully use all of my mental faculties.
It’s during this period that a person with bipolar will complete projects, solidify relationships, and accomplish the typical things that society expects.
But there is a dark side to everything being “just fine” and having no “abnormal” issues to speak of: The people around us think the more extreme symptoms of bipolar disorder are simply bad behavior that we can consciously control. After all, they know we can control ourselves if we wanted to. They have seen us do it on multiple occasions.
Bearing the Burden of Society’s Misconception of Bipolar
If, like me, you’re living with bipolar disorder, it’s well understood that society’s misconceptions become our problem.
When I had my first long depression spell as a teenager, my father pulled me out of bed and ordered me to go to school. When I explained that I was sick, he told me that “being sick of school” was not a real illness. He told me I was too smart and capable to refuse to get an education.
In his defense, why wouldn’t he think that? He personally witnessed me excel in academics. He knew I was intelligent, so this behavior had to be laziness. In his mind, there was simply no other explanation.
Disbelief, Denial, and Misplaced Blame
I liken the symptoms of bipolar disorder to an intermittent car issue. Have you ever taken your car to the mechanic because of a problem you have observed, but then the problem you’re having can’t be replicated for the mechanic to witness and repair? It’s frustrating beyond words—but at least the mechanic believes that there is a problem.
Imagine if, instead of working with you to fix your car, the mechanic just looked at you and said, “Hey, I saw you drive it in, so there obviously isn’t an issue.”
Perhaps a more analogous example is if you were to say that the car wasn’t running at all, and then the mechanic said, “I saw this car running yesterday, so I know you can start it if you wanted to.”
The Most Challenging Feature of Bipolar Disorder
There are many things that make life hard for someone who lives with bipolar disorder, but the biggest issue I’ve ever faced is that people remember me when I’m at my best when they see me at my worst. Since they don’t believe I’m sick, they tell me to snap out of it and make better decisions.
If I were always sick, the people around me would have a better chance of realizing it. But because they didn’t realize I needed help, they didn’t offer any. Instead, they focused on what I could be instead of what I was.
And I can’t blame them, because I did the same thing.
I believe the most problematic issue with this illness is that no one realizes you’re sick. Because, just like the car at the mechanic, bipolar disorder’s symptoms are intermittent.
Originally posted January 3, 2017
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