Words

Well it's been a long time, hiding behind people, and i am intending to do this as long as i feel comfortable. I find it hard to express myself,  and typing out seems easier. I remembering bringing out my dog for a walk, and when people approaches me to talk, the conversation might start and end abruptly when i choose to walk away. I just have high anxiety talking to people, strangers or in a crowd. I wasn't like this before but slowly i became more and more quiet.

What is the latest topic that people are talking about? What should I say to this and that person? Many invisible air bubbles are above my head, but in the end, i said none. I kept quiet all the time. I pretty much wanted to open up, or crack a few jokes and make people laugh but I still can't do it.

Living a quiet life is something that i enjoyed yet it can get dull sometimes. My friend once told me that it is important to learn to get used to loneliness, and i am still learning it now. I believe that when happiness and joy is shared, it becomes double. When sadness or sorrow is shared, it becomes halved. That's the beautiful connection between friends.

The thing is I will only be talkative when i am in my bipolar manic phase, and bipolar relapse is a scary period for me, because i can't control what i say or do. It can bring embarrassment later on, and i realized that this time, the recovery was even harder. At the end of the day, i decided that i should keep my life as simple as possible. Let words be replaced by actions and smiles.

Meanwhile, i must also still learn to speak up for myself, or the people i love.

K dramas

Today i did 2 sets of mask, first took 20 mins, second one took about 50 minutes.

During the CB period, a few pimples pops up, so painful, but now it seemed to heal, but there's still something underneath the skin.

My sister-in-law recommends me this new game, animal crossing.

Here's the Korean drama that I watched during this period of time

1) crash landing on you
2) hotel del luna
3) what's wrong with secretary kim
4) Memories of the Alhambra
5) The World of the Married (Still watching)
6) Weightlifting fairy kim bok joo

So far i watched these dramas, and feel alittle tired maybe must take a rest before i start watching the next drama =)

Day to Day

Fried rice from din tai feng

Microgreens

So excited, okra is growing 

18/4/2020 Learnt Zentangle online, also had ktv sessions on mobile phone with friends

Grill @ home

Sakae sushi

Bubble tea

Recently I also bought the figure 8 basic dance, quite fun, dance whenever I have the energy. =p

Day to day

Bibimbap

Mapo tofu

Oyster mushroom chips

Bought this body scrub

Chocolate crepe cake

Chocolate chip cookies

Gung pow chicken

Hydroponics

Tuna sandwich

Dearie bought some goodies

Miss R cooked some sayur lodeh

Dearie cooked Korean fried chicken

Exercised on treadmill

4

Milk for milk kefir

Microgreen on steak

Seeing 144 angel number all the time

Mei Cai Kou Rou cooked by dearie

Family dinner

Lunch from Tsui Wah

Jamu / Ikan bilis fried rice / kway chap / Ben the rabbit / skincare

Today learnt how to make jamu

Yellow ginger

All the ingredients

Miss R cooked ikan bilis fried rice, super nice 

Ben posing for me

Just received this

Kway Chap

Today finally learnt to make Jamu, so happy. Also went for facial and pedicure, bought some body scrub. Going to bed soon. 

Doodling / These days

First time doodling, my drawing needs improvement, but I feel it is a good way to improve in creativity.

I pat and massage princess for a whole 15-20 minutes, and brought her out for walk.

Today I exercised on the treadmill to burn 180 calorie, did multiple masking because my pimples around my mouth is quite painful. 

One of my fav song: 

Rudimental - These Days feat. Jess Glynne, Macklemore & Dan Caplen [Official Video]

Skin Care

I really love this mask, but the thing is you have to leave on your face for 3-4 hours, that's quite a long time.

Super dry, I just bought and try it, but need some time to tell if it's suitable for my skin.

I always order different brand of kueh lapis to try

Red bean milk shake

Neem leaves paste for skin care

Dearie cooked some seafood fried rice

Sundari day spa, organic chocolate and orange body scrub, have to mix with vegetable oil and water to form a paste before you can use to scrub. I bought this from Bali, it is really good, I hope they do shipping to Singapore, cause I only left with 2 packs.