Bipolar Disorder

I have bipolar disorder 2, and so far I have about 3 relapses. Each time it happens, it crumbles my life a little. When the relapse happen, sometimes it felt like being possessed, sometimes felt like I am very near to buddha/ enlightenment, and the recent felt like I am the goddess. At times, it felt so good, and I kept talking to everyone, and seemed like everyone likes my presence.

It is only after the relapse, I will think about all the embarrassing things I have done, which is irreversible.

For my bipolar, I am taking camcolit, and also a monthly abilify injection.

My husband and I have decided not to have our own kids, as there is about 10% chances of passing down mental illness to our child. Also, at that point of time, my period stopped since I was 21 years old, I need to take medicine for my period to come. Although only recently, after losing some weight, my period became normal, which is a good news for me.

Due to my recent relapse, we have withdrawn our adoption application, and perhaps try again 5 years later. Despite my condition, I felt that I can still be a responsible parent. But I must also accept being a mum, might never happen to me.

As I was slowly recovering, I find that I have problem socializing with people. Hard to think of what topic to talk about. It took a long while, before my actions and speech becomes back to normal, before that I was on the slow side. At the end of the day, I am still glad that I still have loved ones by my side.

In life, I really don't know what to look forward to, I only hope to create more beautiful memories with my loved ones and also I am trying my best to improve my health.

I wish life treats everyone kind. =)