Empath / INFJ

Well, I am doing mask, and I decided that I can update as freely as and when I wanted. It may not be about wellness, just some daily adventures or thoughts.

At some point of time in life, I thought I was an empath, every time seeing numbers like 1111, 2222, 333, 444. 555, 888, 1234, etc, I am an also an INFJ. The mission I wanted to do is to be there for someone before they leave the world. Dying is a painful process, I was there for Tenchi, my pet dog, and also for my other dogs. I wanted to be a cushion for them, make them less afraid, because I was there for them. I find that this role is not easy, but it seemed like my calling.

I did everything I can for Tenchi, so I have no regrets at all. He is my best friend, so even though he could not speak to me, it was only right that I put aside everything in my life to spend his final moments together.

The last day with Tenchi, he jumped on my lap for the last time, reminds me the first day when we met, he did the same. My mum forbids us sleeping in the same room with our dogs, but tenchi will jump in through the window to knock on my door every night.

At one point of time, I felt death was near us, Tenchi was shivering. I tried to use my courage to protect him, but only to realize the feeling from death is so overwhelming and scary. Also, when he barked, all the neighbourhood dogs barked back, I wondered what did Tenchi said to them and what's their reply.

After tenchi left, I got really sick due to my gastric, with 4-5 health scares. I thought I was about to leave the world too. But I was too young to go, and I still have things to do. Seeing dark figures around me, is a sign I guess. I was struggling to stay alive, and the people whom saved me, I am eternally grateful.

When I get better, I stopped thinking of what empath or INFJ kind of things, because I am just a normal person.

My heart, seemed really tired. I tried hard to get back on my feet, try to stand up again. I didn't know what I wanted in life. I wanted to have friends, yet I have a hard time maintaining a friendship. I wanted to have kids, but I couldn't. I wanted to be happy, so I try very hard for it. Which is why, I don't know what to look forward in life.